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On August 6, around 300 young people declaring themselves “Yippies” converged on, of all places, Disneyland to liberate Mickey House. At around noon, these revolutionaries began to assemble around Sleeping Beauty's Castle and according to Rolling Stone Magazine, septemb[er] 17 followed the Disneyland Band up Main Street, yelling slogan for Ho Chi Minh (he must have smiled in his grave) and Charles Manson. The pigs then rolled in and disperse the crowd but our heroes re-grouped and seized Tom Sawyer Island – VIVA LA REVOLUCION! They than declar[e] a free state and ran up the Viet Cong flag (black would have been so much better but you can['t] have everything). The Yippies now exhausted from their heroic struggle for the strategic island rested and got their free state off to a great start by a smoke-in of that illegal weed. For hours, our gallant crusaders had control of the island and now, sky high on their dope, they marched on Disneyland's City Hall (who says grass detracts from the revolution?) This attempt was aborted by the pigs and fights broke out as the Yippies tried another march down Main Street, flustered by defeat our street fighters blew their cool and shouted "fuck you's" at the spectators and for this they must be reprimanded for they alienated the masses (chuckle, chuckle).

Finally, the park was evacuated at 7p.m., six hours early and the 30,000 visitors were given free passes for admission on another day – the tide had been reversed and the Yippies with the scent of victory in their nostrils began to celebrate – they closed Disneyland, the obvious symbol of a decadent capitalist society, WOW! The fatter and dirtier pigs called riot police now moved in and began swinging for the fences, 18 good guys were captured, two for possession of marajuana and one for "assault with a deadly weapon", naughty, naughty. As the Yippies fleed what had become a real bummer, they advanced the revolution by breaking radio antennaes off parked cars – oooooooohhhhhhh those property rights.

Prior to the invasion, Disneyland located in the middle of California's super right wing Orange County (they just elected a bircher to congress) had relaxed a long standing ban on people with long hair. As a result of the Battle of Disneyland, this ban has been re-established but the movement marches on, next target Palisades Fork where we'll liberate the little Miss America contestants.

All kidding aside, the Battle of Disneyland reveals some sobering facts on how not to build a movement. The Yippies always complain about the harassment their culture receives and perhaps a good defense case could be made of their actions as nothing more than a counter-attack on the Establishment, and what a better place to strike at than Disneyland. But in the final analysis, who got hurt? Certainly not the spectators; they were treated to an exciting show, and got free passes to boot! The taunting that the Yippies heaped on the crowd certainly didn't make them sympathetic to the movement: in fact, it probably entrenched their hatred of longhairs and student protesters. The indiscriminate breaking of the antennas was stupid, resembling the actions the Pigs employ against blacks in riots and peace demonstrators. Disneyland will continue to rake in the bread while those 18 Yippies rot in jail. . In conclusion, it seems the movement has abandoned organizing and is splitting in two directions: the bombers, who will only bring on more repression (we're not big enough to engage in a war with the Pentagon) and the Yippies and others, who are retreating into a fantasy world completely dominated by drugs; and to then let me say "Have a good trip."